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Relationships
Channels, Darren Hardy, Relationships, SUCCESS Experts - Tuesday, December 22, 2009 13:22 - 11 Comments
The Art of Chitchat
I hate chitchat. Hate it.
I know I am probably (not probably, definitely am) an overly intense person. I want to be engaged in something that is meaningful and “on purpose” at all times—even when I am “off” and not working. To sit around and shoot-the-(well, you know) and talk about the weather, football scores or the latest celebrity gossip pains me beyond belief. Ask my wife: A conversation goes shallow, and I’ll go in the other room and read a book or find something else “productive” to do.
So when I know I am going into chitchat terrain (like holiday parties and family functions) I gear myself up and review my chitchat strategy.
Here is what I know for sure:
• People like to talk about themselves—a la Winning Friends and Influencing People.
• I really don’t like talking about myself or what’s going on in my life—I already know all that, and it bores me to hear myself talk about it. (And I know most people don’t really care; they are just waiting for their turn to talk about themselves. Seriously, no joke, see above point)
• I love to learn and am in constant pursuit of life’s distinctions. If I am going to engage in chitchat (heaven help me), I want to learn something. I want to walk away with a new idea, tip or distinction I didn’t have before the conversation. And I believe I can learn something from anyone.
• It’s up to me to make the conversation interesting. Considering the above (people really only want to talk about themselves, and I don’t, but I want to learn something), the key is to be ready with interesting and inquisitive questions. Anyone who knows me knows I am always asking questions (and it isn’t about Britney Spears or Snoop Dog news). The key is to have a series of great and insightful questions ready.
Want some help with creating great questions that get people talking about their greatest passions, hopes, dreams, ambitions and ideas?
If so, I will now give you my “on purpose” chitchat formula…
Continue…
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