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Relationships, Richard and Linda Eyre - Written by Richard and Linda Eyre on Tuesday, June 14, 2011 10:56 - 8 Comments

Many SUCCESS readers answered our poll asking what is the biggest problem or challenge faced by kids (and their parents) in today’s world.  (click here if you missed it).

The results were quite remarkable! Of all the parents who participated in the poll, the clear majority were most worried about the sense of entitlement that kids seem to have today. Take a look at the top six vote getters:

• A Sense of Entitlement (53%)
• Excessive Technology and Gadgets (16%)
• Peer Pressure (14%)
• Drugs and Substance Abuse (8%)
• Bullying (7%)

Readers could only vote for one problem and yet “Entitlement” still gets 53% and wins as the biggest problem by a landslide. And the second-place finisher (with about 16%), “Excessive Technology and Gadgets,” is really about entitlement too—kids who think they are entitled to all things electronic.

Combine those top two answers and we have more than two-thirds of parents saying that a sense of entitlement is the biggest challenge they face with their kids.

We got exactly the same result when we asked a large audience of parents the same question recently in Southern California. We were intrigued and surprised by the size of the majority, and we were also pleased, since the title of our new book, to be released by Penguin this fall, is The Entitlement Trap. Think about it: Two-thirds of parents, with no explanation or discussion, voted “Entitlement” as the biggest problem of this generation of kids and the biggest worry for this generation of parents.

We asked the audience, Why? Their answers were fascinating:

“Entitlement leads to low motivation.”
“Kids think they deserve everything and don’t have to earn anything.”
“It makes them disrespectful.”
“They don’t know how to work.”
“They think they have to have everything their friends have.”
“It’s the reason for all the other problems on the list; they think they can do whatever they want.”

What do you think?  Take the reader poll below, and we will continue with this topic next week. If you have stories or illustrations of an entitlement attitude among kids, send it to us by clicking “contact us” at valuesparenting.com.

Readers Polls:

Is an attitude of entitlement a bigger problem with this generation of kids than with previous generations?

• Yes
• No

View Results

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Who is most to blame for the sense of entitlement today’s kids feel?

• Government and its welfare systems, bailouts, national debt and deficit spending
• Banks, financial institutions and too much debt throughout society
• Media and advertising
• Parents who give their kids too much and set a bad example

View Results

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About Richard and Linda Eyre

Richard and Linda are the authors of 9 internationally distributed parenting and life-balance books, one of which was the first parenting book in 50 years to reach No. 1 on the New York Times bestseller list. They lecture throughout the world on family-related topics.

8 Responses to “The Biggest Kid-Problem: Entitlement”

1. Adedeji says:

   February 11, 2012 at 9:00 am

   Naturally, what a elxeclent internet site and informative posts, I will add backlink – bookmark this site? Regards,Reader.

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2. kitt says:

   June 21, 2011 at 7:48 pm

   let me thank the owner for this site. gives me more knowledge to know more about my outside world. I think the first thing we need to know not only the kids, but also the parents is RESPONSIBILITY. Responsibility means willing CAUSE to everything that happens. If every individual would know and inculcate in himself that he is ULTIMATELY RESPONSIBLE for everthing that happens in and out of his world, then our world will have a skyward statistics. As you know, you are what u eat. If parents are not responsible, there go the fruits. WE all take a part in shaping our world. NO one is to be blamed. #1 is education. We need to think out of box in educating our children. If we feel that our government or our schools do not offer the best education or way of educating our kids, then we have to take responsibility on the education of our kids. For me, the most important life ingredient is COMMUNICATION. Everything dissolves through COMMUNICATION. Entitlement, etc problems with kids really start from the parents on how they educate and communicate with their children. Sometimes parents just follow the bandwagon, personalities and who or what’s popular. I believe managing ur Family is just basically like business (with the heart involved). Do not manage based on personality or popularity. But manage based on results or statistics. And change if it is not working, and just do whatever works to get ur desired result. Just take note about RESPONSBILITY.

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3. Scott Ross says:

   June 15, 2011 at 8:09 am

   I think the wording of the survey is critical. The question asked, what is the biggest problem “facing kids” today. The question gave a list of issues that, in my mind, doesn’t include the biggest issue of all.

   The biggest issue facing this generation is the method we use to “educate” them. We have been consistently dumbing down the population for more than 50 years and we are cranking up the volume on that process. We put our children through government run machines that don’t educate, and worse, instill confusion and an inability to think critically. We have an A.D.D. generation who can’t think and who become bored if there are not moving pictures to suck them in.

   Entitlement mentality is not a problem but a symptom. Bullying isn’t a problem but a symptom. All the options listed really are symptoms of underlying character issues developing in our society. Until we recognize that schooling and educating are quite different things, and begin to focus on the development of the whole person in community as was the model prior to 1850 in this and every other developed country, we are going to continue to see a society in decline.

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4. Golda Smith says:

   June 15, 2011 at 6:25 am

   If children feel a sense of entitlement, ultimately it is up to the parents or care guardian to instill better values. To many adults trying to appease their kids with “things” in order to make up for lack of being able to spend time with them or to give them things they (the parents) didn’t have growing up. Some of it is parents that don’t know how to parent.

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5. Mark Thrash says:

   June 14, 2011 at 10:44 pm

   While I respect what Ms. Levine has communicated, I differ in her opinion of what she calls “parent bashing”. Our culture cultivates a victim mentality which leaves individuals powerless to own up to their own life choices. I don’t call it parent bashing, I call it accountability.

   I was a teenage father and now am the proud parent of children that are 5, 7, 9, 11 and 21. The oldest is in college; soon to go to grad school and the 3 middle boys are in their 3rd summer of a lawn business they own and operate. Our home is modest and we teach giving over receiving. I strongly believe this to be my parental duty so we can raise a new generation of givers and not takers.

   The only thing Americans are entitled to is life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. The rest comes from hard work and dedication and a willingness to learn and lead.

   Cheers,

   -Mark

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6. Robert says:

   June 14, 2011 at 7:43 pm

   Entitlement isn’t just from the kids either. If somebody has rights, access, or privilege to something that someone else has that that person doesn’t, there is the case that if a person doesn’t have the item, it’s their right to have it. i.e. If someone hasn’t a vehicle, sometimes the attitude is “Since I don’t have a car, and you do, it’s your responsibility to transport me” I get ticked off at people that look at what I’ve earned as their right or obligation to have it to. I’ve worked hard at reaching where I am, and want to convey that others may have that too if they devote themselves to their own success. Two other things… a) Success is earned, and b) it doesn’t happen overnight. If I link personally, I also note that my own future success must be earned through consecrated effort. It won’t just happen magically.

   Message. We each must and shall earn what we have, and don’t get guilt-tripped into filling another’s need/want just because we have what they don’t.

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7. Katherine Gordy Levine says:

   June 14, 2011 at 12:01 pm

   Sorry for mistakes. Am old and learning disabled and didn’t edit. Shame on me. “I went against” not “again” in the last sentence. Forgiveness keeps all strong.

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8. Katherine Gordy Levine says:

   June 14, 2011 at 11:59 am

   I voted for the media but only because, media promoted the false notion of the parent advisors. That false notion–that a parent’s job was to keep kids happy, particularly kids from toodlerhood to the age of reason–at least seven or eight. Thomas Gordon was the main proponent of this idea and said parents should treat children the way therapists treat clients. A total mis-application of Piaget and other experts. The younger the child, the more important it is for parents to teach values, it should start with the first temper tantrum and continue up until the teen years which is when Gordon’s advice was useful. I went again mainstream in my book When Good Kids Do Bad Things which can be downloaded for free at http://emotionalfitnesstraining.com/free-stuff-from-emotional-fitness-training-inc/ Your last question allowed for more parent bashing which is part of the problem.

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