From the Editors, Relationships - Written by Shelby Skrhak on Tuesday, February 7, 2012 9:30 - 28 Comments
Things My Dad Taught Me
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My dad is on my mind again. The last three nights, I’ve had dreams about him. One night, I was Karate-chopping my stepmother. Another night, I ran into his arms sobbing. The third I have a hard time remembering, but I understand why my dad’s been on my mind. His birthday is coming up on February 9 and he would be in his 60s.
Getting old was never something my dad wanted to do. In fact, my dad would often tell my mother that the men in his family don’t live past 50. He died when he was 51. But what are these dreams trying to teach me? Well, one thing my dad taught me was to drive fast. He said if you get pulled over, you should get two tickets–one for speeding and one for getting caught.
My dad taught me to love 80s New Wave music. His favorite was Depeche Mode. I didn’t realize it was strange that while my friends’ parents were listening to Don Henley and Michael Bolton on the local soft rock/adult contemporary station, my dad was listening to New Order and EMF (“Unbelieveable”) on the alternative music station.
My dad gave me his taste for spicy food. In fact, he used to eat whole jalapenos as snacks. His office mini-fridge had only two items in it–Diet Coke and jalapenos.
My dad taught me the importance of work ethic. We’d listen to Ken Blanchard books on tape about management skills and leadership. It’s funny, but I never made the connection until now that I now work in that industry of personal development books and management and leadership materials.
I can think of many more things that my dad taught me but as I rack my brain, I simply tear up. I miss him and that’s why he’s been on my mind and in my dreams. I had my dad for 19 years–not nearly long enough to teach me all the things he could–but certainly enough to make me who I am.
I’m proud that I’m like my dad, even though–like everyone–he had his faults. But the challenge of adulthood is recognizing those faults and remedying them to make myself a better person. That’s what personal development is–improving ourselves, learning from others’ mistakes and becoming who we were meant to be.
My God, I’ve drunk the Kool-Aid and I have my dad to thank.
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28 Responses to “Things My Dad Taught Me”
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Your Dad was definitely an alternative 80′s guy……I LOVE Depeche Mode. My husband introduced me to the alternative 80′s music genre over 20 years ago, and Depeche Mode is one of our favorites. I experienced a proud “Mom moment” when our two children attended the Depeche Mode concert with us about 4 1/2 years ago and they were singing every word to every song. It was right then that I realized I had done something right.
Dads are wonderfully important people in our lives.
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Shelby Skrhak Reply:
April 4th, 2012 at 10:08 am
Thank you for writing Aimee, you made my day!
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Hi Shelby:
Wonderful post about what Dad’s teach us. Men are great at passing on their own advice (thank you Darren, I’ve taken lots of your advice to heart) but when it comes time to reinvent themselves after they sell their companies or life throws them a curve ball, there doesn’t seem to be any male voices ready to help them figure out their next act in life. I’ve been looking for the male voice – authors and experts that help men reinvent themselves.
Do you have any suggestions? We want to interview someone who has a method or track record in helping men step out of their current life and build a new creative and juicy life. There are 3.2 million business owners out there, many who are men that aren’t taking steps to plan their futures so they can sell because they wouldn’t know what to do with themselves. Most of the self-help on this topic is from women. If you can direct me, I’d really appreciate it. I think there is a hole in the market for this type of book and service.
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Shelby Skrhak Reply:
April 4th, 2012 at 10:09 am
Hi Lorraine,
Sorry for my delayed response. You know, I can’t think of any but I will pass this request along to our other editors, who may think of such a book. Thanks for reading with us here at the SUCCESS blog
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Shelby,
Great post. I usually check out Success.com on Monday mornings to setup my week with the right mindset. As I looked at the calendar, I noticed today was February 13th, my grandpa’s birthday. He passed away right before Christmas, it’ll be two months tomorrow.
He was like a father to me. When I think about the important lessons that guide and influence a life, they came from him. He was a great man who had his faults, but loving people unconditionally was one of things that he was great at.
I to think about the things he shared with me, and it’s still to hard to think to deep because it brings the tears on.
To some it up, he talked the talk and walked the walk. Cheers to good men!
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A true son of the father in deed…
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I just sat down to read Success magazine online to get myself out of a funk for a while. My Mom died 2 weeks ago. First article I saw, was yours. I can relate to the dreams. You hit me hard…I need to stay healthy for my kids and I need to appreciate my Dad even more, now. I need to focus now on the good and fun things my Mom taught me with her life and let her be an inspiration, like it sounds like you have with your Dad. Thank you for your writing!
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Shelby Skrhak Reply:
April 4th, 2012 at 10:38 am
Bob, I’m glad to hear you read SUCCESS magazine online to get yourself out of a funk. That’s really what we strive for, to be a positive read that motivates you and gives you ideas for yourself, your business and your future. It may sound like “marketing-speak” but true! Thanks for reading!
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Loved your article! I can relate to it with my own mom who passed away in a car accident just over six years ago. I definitely learned a lifetime of lessons in the short 23 years we had together. However, I can’t help but wonder about (and miss) the things I still could be learning from her–especially in my career. She had a fantastic work ethic and a strong, but always friendly, fun and welcoming, personality. Now that I recently made the job change to be a full-time freelance designer, her actions and advice often come to mind. I am sure both of our parents are watching over us and extremely proud of the people we’ve become. Thanks for sharing your story!
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Shelby Skrhak Reply:
April 4th, 2012 at 10:24 am
Hi Laura,
I’m coming back to this post a few months later and reading the comments again, and yours struck me. Yes, wondering and missing the things we could still be learning from our parents… but you’re right, our parents are watching and are proud. Congrats on becoming a full time freelancer! Thanks for reading.
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Nicely written, Shelby.
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I can so appreciate this Shelby! My parent’s 48th wedding anniversary is coming up this month. My dad passed 3 years ago and I miss witnessing how my dad expressed his love to my mom. Sometimes he was just so corny! I just loved it though. My dad taught me alot too! He wasn’t perfect by any means and there was alot I wished he had taught me about life. What I do know is that he passed on a love of great music, a passion for flying, and being there for my loved ones when it really matters… Thanks!
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Shelby Skrhak Reply:
April 4th, 2012 at 10:13 am
Thank you for reading it Katrina
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I really enjoyed this and reminded me how blessed I am to have been adopted by a great dad!
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Thanks
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I think I need to call my Dad today. Thanks for the nudge.
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Shelby Skrhak Reply:
April 4th, 2012 at 10:12 am
Did you end up calling him?
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Thanks Shelby i am presently involved in organizing the perfect tombstone for my Dad…..I have the design etc but it’s the words that I haven’t quite got there with…..
My Dad also taught me about work ethic , there is no replacement for hard honest work, in the last 3 yars my career has jumped in heap and bounds, and I know my Dad is watching and smiling….
Hence the delay in the wording for the tombstone , it’s got to be perfect….when some strangers walks past the tombstone and read the words…’ I want them to say what an truly amazing man he was’
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Shelby Skrhak Reply:
February 9th, 2012 at 10:17 am
Angela,
I love what you say here about your father’s tombstone. You’re right, its almost surreal to decide what few words sum up a man’s entire life. I, too, struggled with what to write on my dad’s stone. The “suggestions” the funeral home offers just didn’t fit. I finally wrote, “A Man Greatly Loved.”
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Thanks Shelby for sharing your very personal story with us about what your dad taught you. If he could see all of your accomplishments, he would be very proud of you! Your story helps to remind us all about the lessons each of our dad’s have taught us. Thanks for bringing greater self-awareness to this topic.
Love & Light,
John
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Shelby Skrhak Reply:
February 9th, 2012 at 10:17 am
Thank you John, I really appreciate it.
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Nicely said, Shelby.
Like you I am reminded every single day of the infinite number of things my dad taught me.
Thanks for sharing this.
I’m sure your dad is proud of you indeed, and also happy that you remember him with such love.
Scott
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Shelby Skrhak Reply:
February 9th, 2012 at 10:18 am
Thanks Scott for reading and being reminded of all the things your dad taught you. All the best!
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Nice work fixing Jesus Jones to EMF.
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Shelby Skrhak Reply:
February 7th, 2012 at 4:10 pm
Yep… thanks for reading
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Your daddy is proud of you and I am too.
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Shelby Skrhak Reply:
February 9th, 2012 at 10:18 am
Thank you friend. I’m pretty proud of you too.
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