Lying: What Would You Do?

In the December 2012 issue, SUCCESS magazine explores lying in the workplace. Whether the fib was calling in sick with a fake illness, or accepting praise for someone else’s work, the SUCCESS survey shows we are a nation of fibbers. Here’s one interesting anecdote that didn’t make the pages of SUCCESS and frankly, left the editors a little perplexed. Was this unethical? Or a necessary lie? You decide.

“The director of the school where I last worked made it her mission in life to psychoanalyze her employees. She decided that I had some sort of Freudian repressed anger and that I was in denial about it. Among other inappropriate things, she insisted that I see a therapist. This naturally made me a little bit anxious when it came time to apply for another job, since I intended to apply to some fairly prestigious schools. I therefore sent my résumé to an acquaintance who ran a (much less sought-after) nursery school, and asked that she call the director and pretend to be considering me for a job. While the director didn’t totally torpedo me, she did give me rather a flaccid recommendation. Not wanting to be damned with faint praise, I promptly struck the entire job from my résumé.

I wound up getting a job at an excellent school, but I told the director that I’d gotten the job at the far more modest school run by my acquaintance (whom the director, naturally, had no idea that I knew).

So, basically, I put up a Chinese wall: I lied to my new employers about my old job (so that they wouldn’t contact the director), and to my old employers about my new job (so that the director couldn’t somehow go out of her way to sabotage me).”
—Justin, 23-year-old preschool teacher

Did this young man do the right thing for his career, or get in over his head with lies? Tell us what you think in the comments below.

77088 Responseshttp%3A%2F%2Fblog.success.com%2Flying-what-would-you-do%2FLying%3A+What++Would+You+Do%3F2012-11-19+07%3A00%3A36Shelby+Skrhakhttp%3A%2F%2Fblog.success.com%2F%3Fp%3D7708 to “Lying: What Would You Do?”

1. Ms. Charlotte says:

   November 20, 2012 at 12:22 am

   Interesting how he did not empower his former director with any leverage to use her superior position to overstep her authority to victimize his future career progress. As pseudo-psychologist, she inappropriately aimed to manipulate control over his future career, while his gut instincts tempted him to be the fly on the wall, to find out for sure. Interesting too, how he also took an understated, compassionate approach to not breed any resentment amongst colleagues & not brag about his success; which would be equivalent to rubbing their noses that they are still stuck where they are, under her. He did what he needed to do, to successfully escape a toxic environment; harmful to his emotional health. BTW, A professional, leadership, code of ethics for Directors giving general references is to always find something positive to say about an employees attributes.

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2. Wesley Clark says:

   November 19, 2012 at 9:24 pm

   "Did this young man do the right thing for his career, or get in over his head with lies?" He definitely got in over his head with lies. First off, a good interview from a prospective employer would likely have identified the intentional omission. Also, we heard one side and it makes me believe there is more to the story. He stated "when it came time to apply for another job" which has indicators of missing information in his language and he also does not use a personal pronouns at that point, which removes himself from the story, distancing himself at this point. He does not say why it came time to apply for another job. There is a lot more to probe in just this account. More on this kind of analysis on my website, http://www.truthsleuth.com
   Wes

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3. Prince Ray says:

   November 19, 2012 at 7:45 pm

   Unfortuneately, lies beget lies. That teacher was definitely between a rock and a hard place. I recall trying to get out from under a dictator boss, (who as well, tried to make me believe her duragatory opinion of me was the right one) when she asked what I need some extra time off for, I was truthful and told her I had the oppty to get a better job. She went into a a violent outrage and humiliated me in front of co-workers and other managers.
   I kept this in the background of my mind, when pursuing independent businesses, and as I progressed and gained the much deserved respect and admiration from my clients, I realized, I shall never listen to anyone's opinion of me, my opinion is the only one that matters!.

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4. Ray says:

   November 19, 2012 at 6:21 pm

   Truth is always the easiest to remember.

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5. A.L.Swan says:

   November 19, 2012 at 5:32 pm

   By his story this preschool teacher did not believe the analysis of his former Director was at all accurate. With this belief, had he remained truthful, perhaps he could have let fate or karma, faith, righteousness or truth, win out. But self-preservation steps in, and knowing it could take some time for any one of these philosophies to work the truth out we often move to control the outcome for ourselves. Not sure I would not have responded in a similar manner.

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6. Cruz Alejandra says:

   November 19, 2012 at 5:20 pm

   I agree that it is a one sided story. Nonetheless, sounds like she went out of her way to cover up, causing someone else to also lie for her — her friend. There's always a potential that paths would cross and she could get caught or not. While I can understand leaving the job off the resume, the additional lie is one she will have to sustain and that just creates more lies that she would have to keep track of . . . too messy if you ask me.

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7. Tom says:

   November 19, 2012 at 5:19 pm

   Clearly the job hunter was wrong. If he lied to get the job who’s to say he wouldn’t lie again. There’s no place for him in my business.

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8. Ben Drury says:

   November 19, 2012 at 1:28 pm

   An interesting dilemma. Caught between a rock and a hard place (although on this occasion we only have one side of the story). I guess time will tell who is right, but it is a fine line to walk.

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