Self-Promoters Are the Devil. So How Do I Get Attention?

“Can I ask you about how to become more visible?” my coaching client asked me, when we were supposed to be talking about her presentation skills. There weren’t a lot of opportunities for her to present, in fact, so we switched to this topic of greater concern. Because she was very concerned. She really needed to raise her profile.

But there was a catch.

“I hate self-promoters,” she said, wrinkling her nose and curling her top lip in the universal signs of disgust.

I asked her if this distaste for self-promotion had cost her some opportunities for career advancement. “Absolutely,” she said. But she still wouldn’t play the game.

What was interesting was that she wasn’t an introvert, and she didn’t lack confidence in her achievements. Her problem with asserting herself grew out of her cultural and personal values. Nothing would convince her to be more like the people she avoided in the office. It was just plain wrong to behave that way.

I know a lot of people who feel that their work should speak for itself, and that workplace politics will give their hands a smell they won’t be able to wash off when they get home. But if you’re like my client, and have a team of people working with you, your own career-limiting ideas have the potential to limit theirs as well. When a team leader doesn’t seek recognition, the team lives in obscurity.

I gave her two options, designed to be both palatable and effective. The first one focused on her individual visibility. Let’s call it Climbing via Curiosity. If you can identify people above you in the organization who have the power to influence others, and equally important, whom you like and respect, show some curiosity. Find time to ask them about their work. Seek their opinion on a new idea you’ve had. Let them share their experience with you. They may not talk about you to someone else right away, but you may stand out for showing an interest in them, and you’ll also likely get an opinion that will help you in your thinking.

(In case it hasn’t resonated with you quite yet, this is pure Dale Carnegie. Read his books. They are beautifully composed, extremely meaningful, and funny. Selections from three of his books can be found in How to Enjoy Your Life and Your Job.)

The second option I offered was to talk about the accomplishments of her team more with her supervisors and above: Climbing via Commending. I recommended that she discuss not only the efforts of the team as a unit, but also the work of specific individuals. Why? Because this would show the people who judge her capabilities that she has a discerning and appreciative eye on the work being done, and knows a good thing when she sees it. It will show them that she is confident enough in her own abilities to praise others.

Curiosity and commending usually have to be sincere to be believed. Maybe you’re wondering if you’ll be able to pull it off. But if you can’t show curiosity sincerely, can’t sincerely praise the specific efforts of your team to others, then tell me why you should be promoted.

(When you finish Dale Carnegie, have a look at I Wish I’d Known That Earlier in My Career: The Power of Positive Workplace Politics by Jane Horan.)

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1. Communicatietraining says:

   April 9, 2013 at 2:58 pm

   Great one Alison,

   My recommendation in the trainings I conduct, is also of the curiosity kind. I call this: gaining attention from paying attention. And it may be a long-term investment, so make it a genuine one!

   Cheers!

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2. tree remove says:

   December 30, 2012 at 1:28 pm

   Excellent post. I was checking constantly this blog and I’m impressed! Extremely helpful info particularly the last part I care for such info a lot. I was looking for this particular information for a very long time. Thank you and good luck.

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3. Daniel says:

   November 30, 2012 at 6:18 am

   Promotion is an important thing but often undervalued by people. Without one, you are not able to get to the top in business. Whatever kind of business you are in. We must realize it and remember not to be afraid to openly promote ourselves!

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4. Suzanne says:

   November 28, 2012 at 9:07 am

   Women often have more inhibitions about giving themselves good press. We need to step out of our comfort zone on this unless we want to continue making 75 cents for every dollar the men make. As we do it more and more, we will become more comfortable promoting our work.

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   Alison Lester Reply:
   November 30th, 2012 at 3:55 am

   Thanks for this, Suzanne. It definitely is a comfort zone issue, and as Christi pointed out in her comment, helping others can be the route to making ourselves comfortable putting ourselves forward. So glad others are also finding that this post feels useful!

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   Alison Lester Reply:
   November 30th, 2012 at 3:55 am

   Thanks for this, Suzanne. It definitely is a comfort zone issue, and as Christi pointed out in her comment, helping others can be the route to making ourselves comfortable putting ourselves forward. So glad others are also finding that this post feels useful!

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5. Dr. Christi Hegstad says:

   November 28, 2012 at 7:07 am

   Great article, Alison! These strategies seem to tie nicely with the idea that the best way to help ourselves is to help others. Applying this approach can feel more authentic and meaningful, too. Thanks for the tips!

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6. Alexa Steele says:

   November 26, 2012 at 9:21 pm

   I love the title of this post I also welcome your advice. As a marketer I rarely have trouble with promoting, but I'm always looking for ways to do so tastefully and the options you offered your client really fit the bill!

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7. Chin M C says:

   November 26, 2012 at 7:40 pm

   I like that Alison – Getting attention by discussing ideas and learning from the superiors and discussing achievements with teams – especially with individuals in the team .

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